Stethoscope
by a.son.do.mar
Summary: Sora has two sides: the smile and the grimace. The smile side tells her daughter that Yamato is the only man in her life. The grimace knows the true. The line between her two sides is broken by an unexpected notice which may prove her honesty. Joera, unhappy Sorato and Mishiro.


If you are reading this is thanks to my beta StarPurpleandBlue who helped me with my grammar and vocabulary problems. This fic is the result of the desires of Japific, a friend of mine. She wanted something similar to the summary.

**Disclaimer: **You probably aren't going to like this fic if you're looking for something "pink". It's not the occasion and it's not my style. You aren't gonna enjoy this if, for you, Sora had a sweet marriage. Also, I am quite sure that you will prefer to not read if you aren't open minded to this pairing. In any case, remember that Digimon is not mine. This is just a story created by my imagination, which everybody has a bit.

If you still want to read it, you are welcome here. Enjoy!

**Stethoscope**

_**Two sides**_

"Yesterday she asked me how many boyfriends I had had in my life. And I said 'Your father. Just your father'. Her dimples marked her and she answered me that she didn't believe me. They grow up without you noticing. My mother always said that I was going to miss her when she left us and, honestly, I never understood why she said that, apart from trying to make me feel guilty. But she was right. I never thought that I would need her so much; it seems like now I can comprehend her better. When she didn't want to see me grow up... because it's the best way to protect them. They are babies; you clean them, feed them, love them, don't let them get hurt and one day they want to be hurt. And even if you try to stop it, they go away. For that reason, it's complicated. Oh, I'm talking too much. Congrats for the pregnancy. Five months, isn´t?"

Her old secretary corrected her - it was six months - and they said goodbye to each other after she was remembered about her invitation to the baby shower.

Sora reread the report that was over the table while she digressed about her last conversation. Baby shower? What the hell? She remembered when she told her mother that she would be grandmother. A few moments later she looked at the clothes made with love in her pregnancy. Sora saw her mother and, for the first time, she was aware about the passage of the time as the wrinkles of happiness in her face were still there for long minutes. That day was the best of her waiting and, as the months passed, she got used to be happy. How is it possible not to be when everybody around you is?

But she knew the two sides. One was happy, the smile side, the one that hugged her family, did interviews, motivated the others, travelled... And the other side, the grimace one. In that side she was alone, lamenting the impossible lovers, the times of mistakes and the ones where she wanted do make mistakes, but, at the same time, didn't want to break the happiness of the others who depended on her contentment as well.

For that reason, being a mother for Sora meant that she should hang on her happy side and hide the other one. Bury it in the deepest, although then she had to renounce her own desires. Even so, she wished to not see them grow up. She preferred to feel tied and not a coward.

She preferred saying "with your father and nobody else" and think after that it wasn't for lying, not even because she was ashamed. She just wanted to tell her daughter that love was something serious, something that could be forever. Because even she couldn't explain how it was possible for love to be so complicated.

She quit her glasses recommended by the oculist recently. She hated getting conscious that the small letters became smaller every time, but she hated even more wearing glasses. While using them her hidden side started showing up, remembering her how much she lied to her child.

Because there was one truth, and just the 'grimace side' could say it in her imagination. In the same place where the life that she had never had lived in.

"I'm going to tell you, my daughter, that there were some men. None too important, just a few become so. Dad had his concerts for a long time and we had problems because I never knew what he was doing; he didn't know either. Sometimes he was out at night and the next day only the _paparazzi_could remember it, as they followed him every time. Sometimes I read the magazines; bad for me, I know, and I believed those words. So I went to talk with a friend: Joe. Do you remember him? He came to our home with his son, I'm sure you know who I'm talking about.

»Well, I went to that friend and cried with him; he was the only one with which I could do it, because during that period I wasn't able to look at Taichi's face; not after he confessed his feelings for me. How could I tell him that he renounced me for me to be disloyal to his best friend? I couldn't hurt him two times. Also, Joe always knew how to listen.

»He waited until my tears stopped and then convinced me I shouldn't think like that. It was strange how he could do it with just some words. I felt strong with him, because it's not every day that one boy that I, despite the fact of him being just one year older than me, always saw as someone who I had to listen to, as he used to be right. So, because that, or maybe for other reasons, I looked inside his eyes and liked myself. It didn't happen too often. You and your brother can't understand it because you're not like me, not even like dad. You grew up seeing love, thinking that you could find it easily. But not every child has this luck, so when they turn into adults they still think they can't find it.

»Later there were no other men, just dad and Joe. I went back to talking with Taichi, but just to notice that he was better of without me, and I, probably, couldn't be fine with anybody.

»I knew I didn't feel the same with your father. You can't understand, as it hasn't happened to you yet, although you think I'm wrong. We passed our lives fleeing of something and we discovered that together we needn't anything else. But that ended. I don't know if it was because of the guilty feelings or because despite how happy he was with my pregnancy, he maintained his plans of going to Mars. I felt like he was escaping me again, but I didn't have the strength to do it nor the courage to say to him 'Stay with me, stay unhappy'. I guess I can't blame your father for me not being able to tie him; it was the thing I admired the most in him when we started our relationship.

»You were younger; I don't think you remember, but Joe stayed at home during long periods of time when dad wasn't there. He told you stories while I was doing the work that I hadn't done during the day. For that reason you like medicine series, I'm sure. Many times you called him 'doctor' and asked for the apparatus with which they listen to the heart, the one I can't remember the name.

»When you were sleeping, I served him a glass of wine and we talked. I think nobody knew about our special relationship; they were surprised when we stayed together in group meetings. But I see our pictures and we were always close, it's so curious.

»Later, when he stopped coming, you asked me for him. More than for dad, but I just told you that his son was back again and needed him too. You can't imagine how your question hurt me. I wanted to go back to our conversations in the sofa. I always remember that moment, after confessing to him that he was my only reason for being able to go through day to day. 'I feel you quieter ever since you know it. I was like that when Tai told me how he felt, but I was seventeen then. Honestly, I can't believe your behavior'.

»I'm sorry for those words because, maybe, if I had let him think, he could break his morality. Instead, he told me he wished I had noticed my feelings before, but then it was too late. We had families and they needed us. And I didn't have any better idea than to remind him of his situation. His wife had abandoned him two times. Two! And that instead of trying to get back with her, he was talking with me... It marked the end of our meetings.

»I have a friend with whom I lament about my marriage. You have to know that all couples pass through the same, sooner or later. I always complain about the same thing: 'It's impossible to talk to Yamato. Everytime I try it, he goes out or locks himself in the office. He doesn't want to talk and that's all'. It doesn't seem like a big complain, but it's difficult to be the wife of someone who refuse to talk about it. One day, my friend, the woman who makes you those birthdays cakes with so many trappings, had enough and said to me as if it was the most obvious of the world: 'Split up with him and stop blaming him. You already knew how he was before you married'.

»She was right and I never came to mention it again. So my laments stayed within those days in which the two sides separated and one talked to the other. I didn't tell her that I missed my days with Joe, even if I know she could understand it because I see how she looks at another friend of mine - you know, the father of the clever girl - and the way he is still shy and sometimes seems dizzy when she arrives.

»But you have to know; it's better for you to know now and remember that when you fall in love. Some loves are forever and others aren't. It doesn't matter how they happen or if they were good, they'll still be there while you want it to. And Joe is still there and will keep being, because I don't want to lose that feeling; the knowledge of how my life may have been different by his side."


End file.
